This past Christmas, we decided to plan a one-week trip to San Diego to spend the holidays with my younger brother and his family.
It was the first time I had planned and paid for a “real” trip for the five of us, during which I was the main financial provider.
I say “real” because most of the family trips we have taken have been to my older brother’s beach house in Florida, trips to Disney world (which are not cheap, but are considered local for us), low-budget camping trips, or close-by day trips.
We’ve taken “real” trips before that require plane tickets, like to San Francisco and Grand Cayman for family weddings. Also two Disney Cruises — that my husband jokes we are still paying for.
A picture from that Disney Cruise my husband says we’re still paying for.
But these trips were different. For starters, we were a family of four, not five yet. Aly wasn’t a teenager (teens are so expensive and they typically want to take friends along). And Oliver, our middle child, was young enough that he didn’t even cost us a full meal.
The biggest difference between these trips in the past was… my husband was paying.
I was the stay at home mom, helping to run his company, but not necessarily burdened with the need to wake up every day and work to sustain the family.
Four years ago, that shifted when my husband and I decided to change the way we bring money into our home.
I grew my online business into something that pays for our monthly expenses and savings. While my husband focuses on long-term investments and income streams, mainly through real estate using our property.
My business is more sustainable than his labor-intensive tree business from the past, and he’s really good with large projects with larger budgets. Most importantly, it’s been the best thing for our family and for everyone’s mental health.
On the day-to-day, this arrangement is wonderful. But when it comes to big purchases, like a family vacation, my nervous system can’t quite take it yet.
A photo from our San Diego Christmas. Don’t they look thrilled?
I planned that Christmas vacation, and was so proud of my ability to pay for plane tickets, Airbnbs, meals, and expensive tickets to Universal Studios.
Brimming with pride, I arrived in California with super high expectations.
And you know what happens when you have high expectations?
Yep, it never pans.
Our youngest was sick. Our middle was bored. And our oldest missed her friends and life back home.
How was I handling it all? Not good.
But I did learn a lot:
Don’t have expectations.
Don’t plan a trip to make others happy.
If you’re spending money for a vacation, see it as an investment into your family’s memories, and then let it go. You will make more money.
If you’re nervous about leaving your business for a week, then you need better systems in place.
Don’t plan an expensive vacation because everyone else is doing it on Instagram.
Do bring a medicine kit and a thermos bag to pack food, because geese, to keep up with the hunger of five different people is impossible.
A picture from this year’s Spring Break at Pisgah National Forest. Don’t I look relaxed?
Mid-winter hit and I knew I should be planning a Spring Break trip.
Even after feeling all the pressure of my future-self scrolling Instagram and seeing everyone’s fancy vacations, I decided to opt-out.
Here’s why:
Kids need a break.
Parents need a break.
There is so much around us that we haven’t yet explored.
I’ve been wanting to furnish our new home, and I deserve to spend my money in the way that I want to.
Our kids really love their home.
So this Spring Break, we took a few day trips and planned other outings.
Guess what? It was glorious.
Everyone slept in the comfort of their own beds, ate the foods they’re used to, and got some much needed Z’s. Yet, they were entertained.
Here’s what we did:
Visited Pigeon Forge, TN - The home of Dollywood and other family-friendly attractions. It reminds me of a mini Orlando, country-style. We went go-kart racing, played in the arcade and laser tag.
Now, there’s a happy kid.
Visited GrandFather Mountain to see the Solar Eclipse - This was beautiful. It was so nice to see the solar eclipse in community. It felt like a viewing party, but the show we were watching was nature.
Molly was happy to join.
There’s a happy teen (with boyfriend in tow).
Happy family memory. Check!
Visited Hands-On Children’s Museum in Hendersonville, NC - Wow, did our kids love this place. We spent four hours there, and my youngest made me bring him back two days later.
Downtown Hendersonville, NC
Visited Pisgah National Forest - We go here often but there are still so many trails we haven't explored. We tried Shining Rock Wilderness trail.
Tolerating mom’s request for a hike in Pisgah.
It was the best vacation yet, because it was an actual vacation — not a “real” trip.
What’s your family philosophy for trips? Curious.